Paul felt the same way - according to Ephesians 3. He originally hated the Jesus-followers, before becoming one himself. He definitely didn't expect to be a person in full-time ministry.
This is my life work: helping people understand and respond to this Message. It came as a sheer gift to me, a real surprise, God handling all of the details. When it came to presenting the Message ... I was the least qualified of any of the available Christians. God saw to it that I was equipped, but you can be sure that it had nothing to do with my natural abilities. (v7-8)A few weeks ago I went to a conference for Jesus-followers in Indiana. One of the speakers made a comment that stuck with me. He said that "real ministry needs to happen OFF the organizational chart of the church." He proposed that EVERYONE - not just the pastor, elders, and deacons - should consider themselves fully responsible for the ministry. The pastor is not the sole champion - rather, everyone should contribute in the teaching, learning, healing, praying, worshipping, visiting, tear-wiping, encouraging, and supporting roles. I like that. Some denominations don't hire "full-time" ministers for this reason - and not because of lack of funds. They refrain from hiring someone so that the ENTIRE church is encouraged to be on a journey together: to study and teach together. In those churches, they all know the scriptures inside and out. I can see how this would be beneficial.
Don't get me wrong - I love having an "expert" up on stage dicing up the scriptures so that I can understand it. But sometimes it causes me to be lazy. Sometimes I don't dig in enough and take responsibility for my own spiritual growth. I better snap out of that laziness. I better be on guard, because it sounds like sometimes he uses the "least qualified" (like Paul, or me) and equips us beyond our natural abilities.
A Prayer: Here am I, Lord. Send me.