Someone please tell the guy with the sign that it's not that easy.Tonight I was talking on the phone to a friend of mine. To be more specific, I was complaining. I was complaining because two of my closest friends "don't have enough trust." I'm tired of these two worrying about ___, ___, and ___. Why can't they just trust that God knows what he's doing?
A few hours went by. I returned some email, read a bit, and shut off the light to go to bed. As I put my head on the pillow, I began to pray:
God, how come I can't see what's coming in the months ahead? I'm scared.
God, why can't I have ____? I'm really heartbroken.
Oh and one more thing, God: ______. Yeah, that doesn't make sense to me either.
God, do you really know what you're doing?
Then the Holy Spirit responded with more clarity than I've felt in a long time. No, not an answer to any of those questions (I wish). But instead, a striking and more-appropriate conviction from God himself:
Jake, do you trust me?
Whoa. I am just like my friends. I was annoyed that they were struggling with A, B, and C ... but even so I lay awake and worry about X, Y, and Z. Jesus, forgive me for not trusting in you with all of my heart.
Friends, please know that I am a struggling sinner trying desperately to follow Jesus. Too often I fail to trust, but tonight God is growing me closer to himself. He made me, so he knows what he's doing ... it's just so hard to see from my perspective.
I had to get up and write about it before I forgot. Now it's back to sleep.
1 comment:
Trusting is something I have always struggled with. When I find myself worrying and stressing over something, I always think to myself, do I really think I can do it better/have a better plan than God? Of course not. Those convictions those words of comfort he whispers to us-I believe he is constantly whispering to us, its just a matter of whether our ears are tuned in to hear him. "It is not for you to know the time or date the father has set" I am not sure of the exact reference for that verse, however I do know its the truth. We all struggle, because we are human. But in the times you struggle the most, try tuning in a little more i'm sure you'll hear very comforting things from our creator and Lord. Trust, who knew such a small word could be so hard to practice.
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